bridge that gap

Have you ever really looked at a bridge? They’re fucking stunning pieces of work. The amount of research and planning and preparing and fucking up and collapsing and rebuilding and doing that it takes, it’s pretty phenomenal.

I’ve lived in Lyon for over 5 years now, and before that I was in Paris for 8. Bridges everywhere. Bridges to nowhere, old ones that’d wobble, newer ones you could have secret picnics in, most of them being peed on somewhere by someone at some point, no matter the time of the day. I love a good bridge, and I love a good metaphor.

I’ve been talking today about “bridging” activities, the ones you can do at the start of a craving, that take up enough of your mind / body / strength / heart / breathing / focus that before you know it (usually within 30 minutes, sometimes less, sometimes up to an hour or so), you’re on the other side and you’re safe. You didn’t pick up the glass / bottle / car keys / phone. You craved, but you didn’t cave. And you got through it, to solid ground on the other side.

These craving bridging activities can be whatever you want – cooking, calling a friend, writing a post online, replying to other people posting online, a HIIT workout, staring out of the window, figuring out how to pronounce the ll sounds in Welsh, cleaning your silverware, overthrowing the patriarchy, yoga with some thin white woman, yoga with a non-thin non-white non-woman, rewatching Sex and the City and unpicking every problematic line and iconic outfit, baking the best flapjacks and eating them all straight from the pan, crying in bed with your head under the pillow, practising active anti-racism, seeing how much cheese you can eat in 30 minutes, reading a book in the bath, finding a 2 year-old and making it giggle, writing to your local elected official on a subject you’re passionate about … the list is literally endless.

It won’t always be like this. The further away you get from Day 1, Hour 1, Minute 1 … the less need you’ll have for these all-encompassing activities. You won’t need to distract yourself quite so forcefully, for quite so long. But they’re a really useful tool to keep in your toolbox, particularly in the early days or in days when you know you’re more likely to find yourself in Cravings City and you’ll need to bridge a gap to Safeville. Days like holidays, maybe the weekend, Hallowe’en, localised lockdowns, anniversaries, in the run up to rather important elections, on election night etc … It’s useful for you to have some of these (appropriate for you) activities on hand so you can just fall into *them*, rather than falling into a bucket of booze.

Sometimes the bridging activities take more time. A week, a day, a month - I'm living that right now with the new lockdown in France. This "activity" of a new reconfinement can be hard to accept, easy to criticise and rail against - or I can work to see it as a bridging activity which will hopefully lead us out to more safety once we emerge on the other side.

What’re some of your bridging activities for the next few days, and where do you hope to land? I'm crossing over the bridge from being terrified to ask for help / show vulnerability / accept I might be in the wrong, and landing on the side of acceptance, of gentle strength, and full authenticity - and the activity that's helping me get there is practising humility, writing my little tuchus off, and stroking my beautiful pussy.

Love and courage, from the 376th day I've not drunk booze!

Picture : La Passerelle du Collège, Lyon 3