it's not about the fucking potato

Some of you may have seen that Hasbro are bringing out a new Potato Head which is gender neutral, so kids can make it look however they want and have a toy that reflects them and/or (a) member(s) of their family. This, of course, has been contorted in the media and picked up by frothy-mouthed fuckwits, screaming in panic that The Gender Neutrals Are At It Again, bellowing "they've gone too far this time!!!"

Cue eye-roll. "Water off a duck's back" (thanks, Jinkx) - let them have their outrage, we know what's what, and we know that we're going to be on the right side of history. I try not to let any of this kind of shit get to me personally, because it's so prevalent, but also and ultimately so pointless. And yet.

So why am I writing a blog post about it? Because the story and tired old "jokes" were picked up by some people who I respect, and who I know would be horrified if they knew anyone thought them to be transphobic. That they would get on the Gendered Potato Bandwagon itself is one thing, but the thing I found particularly jarring is the box of nastiness it allows to open in the comments section. Talking about the freaks, the snowflake generation, how soon enough no-one will be allowed a first name, we'll all have to identify as animal/plant/mineral (um: plant, please).

This post is particularly for those people who find it harmless, just a joke, "good bantz", who don't necessarily want to do the thinking as to why it might be problematic. I'm not coming to be the thought police - I'm coming to explain why I'd like you to not engage or support conversations or "jokes" like this. To say to you directly : we need you to do better.

If you don't want to be seen as transphobic, don't post stuff that trans people themselves  tell you is transphobic. EVEN IF you don't think it is. As a white person, would you tell a person of colour what is racist or not? As a man, would you tell a woman what is sexist or not? As an able-bodied person, would you tell someone living with a disability what is ableist or not?

If you don't want to be seen as transphobic, don't post shit that has already been co-opted by the Piers Morgans, That Rightwing Dusty Dick Who Died Recently In The States, and Katy Fucking Hopkinses of the world.

If you don't want to be seen as transphobic, don't allow transphobic comments on your page or posts. Make your stance clear. Use your power and privilege to show your allyship, if it's truly there.

If you don't want to be seen as transphobic ... don't do transphobic shit.

Would you make a similar "joke" about (the representation of) a gay character? Lesbian, disabled, older, Black? No (I hope). So don't make, or repeat, the "joke" about trans* or gender-non-conforming people.

You're seriously going to defend to the death the right of a potato to use the correct pronouns and forms of address? Great. Bring that same energy when it comes to defending the rights of your trans* children and siblings.

Trans and queer people are some of the funniest fuckers out there. Many people with trauma use the sticks we were and are beaten with to hone their wit - it's often our first line of defense, and attack. It's hard to carry on beating someone who's given you a good belly laugh. Elevate our voices. Listen to us when we tell you how these "jokes" make us feel.

When they go low, we go high.

Punch up.
Build up.
Lift up.

And finally ... it's a fucking plastic potato. And the Mr AND Mrs versions still exist.
Time to do everything we can to make sure we carry on existing, and record that existance in ALL the his-, her- and theirstory books.